'Hopefully the dry cleaners can fix it': Clueless Kevin instantly ruins brand new marching band uniform

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Mar 6, 2023 11:00 AM EST

"After 12 hard years of constant fundraising, our band finally bought new uniforms to replace our old ones from the 90s," one student wrote, as they revealed how one goofy Kevin made a mess of it.

U/myheelswillcrushyou wrote to the r/StoriesAboutKevin sub to share a story about a dude (actually named Kevin) who just could not follow directions. Even before Kevin ruined the brand new uniforms, he was a bull in a china shop. The OP writes that he was late to rehearsals, couldn't understand time signatures, and even dropped his drum quite often. So it couldn't have come as a surprise that Kevin couldn't understand the instructions that came along with the marching band's new uniforms. He was instructed not to eat in the uniform, and to be careful with the new outfit. The OP writes that everybody knew this rule, because they were reminded a ton of times every day. But that didn't stop him from breaking the rule with maybe the messiest possible food! 

Up next, if you went to a friend's house and had dinner, and then they asked you to pay for your plate, would you do it? 

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  • 01
    Hard hat - 'Kevin ruins a brand new $1000+ uniform because he can't understand simple directions'
    via Katrina Berban
  • 02
    Font - r/StoriesAbout Kevin Posted by u/myheelswillcrushyou Kevin ruins a brand new $1000+ uniform because he can't understand simple directions. n
    via u/myheelswillcrushyou
  • 03
    Font - Kevin (real name is actually Kevin, I wish I was joking) is a bass drum in our marching band. In addition to his former band felonies (always being late to rehearsal, not knowing how time signatures work, dropping his drum on a daily basis) Kevin has committed a new and worse crime.
    via u/myheelswillcrushyou
  • 04
    Font - After 12 hard years of constant fundraising, our band finally bought new uniforms to replace our old ones from the 90s. These were not cheap, each uniform came with a cost of about $1000, not including the price for hats, gloves, and shoes. Because of the new uniforms, our band director drilled into us the no eating in uniform rule, a simple enough rule to follow especially if we heard it dozens of times a day.
    via u/myheelswillcrushyou
  • 05
    Font - Our last competition of the year was in a large football stadium, and due to some timing issues we wouldn't be allowed to take our uniforms off between our performance and when we had to leave. Therefore, we would all have to wait an hour or so until we could get back to the bus and eat the dinners we had packed.
    via u/myheelswillcrushyou
  • 06
    Font - Kevin had different ideas. Apparently he had shoved money in his uniform before performing and used it to purchase a large serving of barbecue chicken wings. He then proceeded to eat them in uniform, and was completely clueless to the giant orange stain going down the entirety of the front of his white uniform until my band director saw and freaked out.
    via u/myheelswillcrushyou
  • 07
    Human body - Needless to say, it was a fun time and Kevin was extremely confused as to what he did wrong. Hopefully the dry cleaners can fix it, or our band is down a $1000 uniform.
    via u/myheelswillcrushyou
  • 08
    Font - [deleted] I never understand people who, when in a rare instance of needing to not make a mess, order the messiest f king s they can. I still remember a time in high school where we were in costume for a play. Not as serious as $1000 uniform, but didn't want to mess them up. We went to a snack bar and people were getting pretzels, trail mix, candy bars, etc. One guy insisted on getting nachos. I think he spilled some one the table which, luckily didn't get on him since he had bad posture
    via u/deleted
  • 09
    Font - rosetta_tablet Yeah, Kevin's dumb, but why buy uniforms that fragile and expensive when stuff like this could easily happen? I'm guessing this is high school. If so, high school kids be like this.
    via u/rosetta tablet
  • 10
    Font - dystyyy That's not a very expensive uniform, that's about average. The idea is that they last about 20 years.
    via u/dystyyy
  • 11
    Font - Nycolla I did it for four year, and at football games, we would have a period of time to take off the jacket and eat if we would like. It seems here that the situation was unusual and they didn't receive that time during the game.
    via u/Nycolla
  • 12
    Font - Rg1550 Because marching band is this massive money sink that for some reason every band director goes all in for. I did marching band it was fun, now I teach and I see this huge swallowing of funds 50-60k a year going towards a hobby that kids age out of. Like homie, my orchestra needs basses you don't need a 6,000 wireless mic setup.
    via u/Rg1550
  • 13
    Rectangle - FinchMandala It's crazy to me how any item of clothing (beyond wedding dresses) is priced over a grand.
    via u/FinchMandala
  • 14
    Font - cutestain What outfit costs $1,000? Is it made of alpaca wool? Was it sown by Michael Kors? This seems way worse of a decision than Kevin eating.
    via u/cutestain
  • 15
    Font - SisterRay Marching bass rise up. But more to the point, why not put the money in your street clothes? Surely there is an opportunity to retrieve it at some point, or at least there was when I was in band.
    via u/SisterRay
  • 16
    Human body - Kantatrix I hope Kevin is the one who'll have to pay for the damages
    via u/Kantatrix
  • 17
    Font - SalisburyWitch Why is your band out $1000? Kevin did it; he should be required to pay for it. 30 Reply Share not_theClampdown Well I assume that the unforms can only be bought (at least affordably) by bulk, so just buying one more uniform is not an option
    via u/SalisburyWitch
  • 18
    Human body - Protip: carry around one of those Tide to-go pens. They work super well for food stains.
    via r/storiesaboutkevin
  • 19
    Font - GonzoMojo Our band would take a cover they could put on between competitions so they could eat/drink...looked like they had on a hospital gown but it let them eat a slice of pizza and drink some soda...
    via u/GonzoMojo
  • 20
    Rectangle - arcxjo F, there are platinum-selling bands that never spent that much on wardrobe in their entire careers.
    via u/arcxio
  • 21
    Font - Doctorbear727 Generally they make newer band uniforms with a fabric that can be cleaned decently on account of the grass and dirt stains that appear from marching in a field. It's just gonna be a dry cleaning bill. I'm sure the director was more upset about the stain appearing before performance though lol. Ah band I miss it sometimes.
    via u/Doctorbear727
  • 22
    Human body - shvelo Did he get demoted to playing mayonnaise?
    via u/shvelo
  • 23
    Cheezburger Image 9740642816
    via u/SillyOldBears
  • 24
    Font - Edit: Source: I was a band kid. We got new uniforms my junior year. Our band director was honest enough to ask us if we would mind helping show off the new uniforms by waiting to eat until we got on the buses and had changed. Seriously though. If there was time to buy and eat all that, there was more then enough time to change. Shame on that band director for not being honest.
    via u/UnspoiledWalnut
  • 25
    Font - myheelswillcrushyou OP Your reasoning makes sense given your knowledge of the situation, but it was an event at Gillette stadium for about 50 different marching bans around the New England area and they didn't let ANY of us change between half-time and the end of the performance (the coordinators gave us timing as a reason, and I agree with you that it was a dumb reason because there was plenty of time). We had all eaten lunch two hours prior as well. If Kevin was trying to make a stateme
    via u/myheelswillcrushyou
  • 26
    Mammal - Unspoiled Walnut Sounds like your director is the Kevin here, for buying absurdly expensive uniforms for high school.
    via u/UnspoiledWalnut

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